All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
