She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
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