My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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