I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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