the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Randomize
