Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
