I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actions speak louder than pants.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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