First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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