drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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