Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
