Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
You ate ashes out of my bong
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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