At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
