You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize