my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
