I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
