East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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