I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize