new low.... made out with someone while peeing
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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