If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Randomize
