He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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