I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize