ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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