Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
