are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Randomize
