I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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