Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
