Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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