Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
love makes seman taste better
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
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