i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
