apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
You're a waste of cheezeits
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
