Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Randomize
