She is in my trunk
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Randomize
