you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
