Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Randomize
