I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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