Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
