I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
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