He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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