Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
