Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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