plz talk dirty to me
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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