i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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