Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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