I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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