i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
