Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
