so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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