..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
