I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
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i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
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i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
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