Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
