Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize