I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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