I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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