your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
where does the pee come out of this thing
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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