Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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