she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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