Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
