Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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